Two movements approach change in Judaism in different ways. Orthodoxy constructs a myth according to which change does not occur, at least consciously, in the halachic process. It is imposed from without, sure, by social forces and non-Jewish perfidy, but never by poskim themselves for the purpose of change itself.
Conservative Judaism claims that they have the steering wheel of halachic change in their hands and turn it only when moral considerations become urgent and primary. The Bandaid must be ripped off at some point when the gap between moral reality and halachic text becomes too great to bear. This is painful, as can be seen from this teshuvah, where – even in egalitarian synagogues – the number of women wearing tallis and tefillin are few and far between. A halachic change was made for moral reasons, and it was painful but necessary.
Orthodoxy deals pain, too, but in a different way – to classes of people excluded from the halachic process. People change faster than Orthodox halachah. Gays and lesbians and women are two obvious groups that are considered only very slowly.
Pain is part of life, and I don’t think either of these groups has a monopoly on it, or – conversely – a magic formula to avoid it. You pays your synagogue dues and you takes your choice.